Friday, March 7, 2008


Hubby and I have our Take-ins at the two ministries the Bishop and Cabinet have chosen for us this evening.

After a long and restless night, there is a REM song running through my mind that I can't seem to get rid of. I woke up with it blaring through my consciousness:

It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it
and I feel fine.

I had a nightmare of the world coming to a fiery end, covered in lava. My family escaped as well as some friends and other people who were unknown to me. We climbed to safety and waited for the lava to harden. I woke up in a cold sweat with It's the End of the World as We Know It (and I Feel Fine) going off in my noggin.

As a contemplative, I give weight to my dreams - as bizarre as they sometimes are. (But I'm also cautious to remember that sometime "a cigar is just a cigar!").

The end of the world is symbolic of the feeling of powerlessness. And I do feel powerless in the face of tonight's situation. It's proposed that I pastor another former EUB church. And yes, I will be their first woman pastor.

The lava implies emotions of anger and rage. I am angry about the situation that puts Hubby and I in this predicament. He is so sad about leaving this Charge, I'm angry to think that I may be going right back into the lion's den. I'm angry that the last time I moved Iwas sold a fraudulent line goods regarding CINS.

The survivors, including myself, represent my support system ... Hubby, D1 & family, D2, Son and DIL and friends I could identify. It was a comfort to know that we were all in this "disaster" together.

Climbing to safety represents that I need to look at this situation from a different point of view; that I need a new and different perspective on how I am seeing things.

The fact I survived means my psyche is telling me that I am survivor. Although, I felt helpless at the beginning of the dream, my spirit is telling me I have the will and the strength to go on.

It will be OK.

And maybe the fact I watched the end of Independence Day didn't help either.

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