Tuesday, March 24, 2009

I Wonder Why?

... people who profess to love "their" church spend a lot of time trying to destroy it?

I'm looking for a new Lay Leader. Anyone want to swap??????

Friday, March 13, 2009


Does your church have a Little Old Lady who counts the stainless steel silverware to make sure no one inadvertantly takes any home?


Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Pastoral Courtesy and Integrity

Once again I seem to have found myself in a dysfunctional ministerium. There is another woman - an extremely part-time Episcopal priest - five male clergy and me. One of the male clergy is my husband. I know he's pretty high functioning.

Our ministerium has two Free Meths, one Catholic, one Lutheran, the aforementioned Epsicopal and us two United Meths. We say we want to be united for the good of our Small Town community, but I am afraid we are anything but united.

Father Catholic Priest painted himself into a corner a couple weeks ago with the Small Town Council and then sent out e-mails to Small Town Ministerium with pleas for back-up. Father Catholic Priest write arrogant, condescending Letters to the Newspaper Editor and assumes he speaks for all the Small Town clergy.

Let me tell 'ya: Hubby has learned in the thirty years we've been married that he cannot speak for me. He knows and respects the fact I have my own mind, my own intellect, my own opinion and my own big mouth.

And resent the fact that FCP thinks I'm going to die in this particular ditch with him. He agrees with stuff we talk about in ST Ministerium meetings, but goes ahead and does his own thing. He's the loudest voice calling for a united front - but on his terms and with his agenda. He used the Community Lenten Luncheon last week for a podium for his political views and using communal scare tactics, said, "I don't want to stand alone. If you're a Christian then stand with me." Golly gumpers, grandma!

The second thing that's pressing my buttons this week is the fact that the two Free Meth clergy are visiting my parishioners. I arrived at the hospital this morning for a parishoner's surgery only to find the FM Associate Pastor there with the family. He "graciously" deferred to me when I prayed with the surgery patient and family, but patted the patient's foot and said he'd be back tonight. And I had another parishoner in the ER at the same time and they went north to Small City Hospital on one of the Great Sinkholes for a cardiac problem. Assoc. FM Pastor called his Sr FM Pastor and Sr. Pastor told him to tell me that he would meet the Cardiac Patient at the Small City hospital.

To say I was flabbergasted was an understatement. I'm too well-mannered to raise a fuss in front of folks, but you can bet the Small Town Ministerium meeting tomorrow morning will be rough and wooly.

Hubby went to the Small Town Council meeting last night and returned disgusted. Of course, Father Catholic was there (his usual arrogant self) and the Free Meths because they're standing up against "politically correctness." Hubby received a report on my transported parishoner - "he had his pacemaker tweeked and he will be fine."

What happened to pastoral integrity and courtesy???????????????

Monday, March 9, 2009

That God! What a Kidder!

Chronically Anxious Lady had her elective surgery this morning. Of course, she was first on the OR list. So, being the GOOD pastor that I am, I got up extra early to get to the hospital and have prayer with her.

Guess what song was playing on the local FM radio station when I parked my van at the hospital?

Yep. Hollenback Girl.

Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor?

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Better Mood

After THREE really good nights' sleep, I am in a better mood.

I'm signed up for a three day Women's Spirituality Retreat that starts on Sunday the 15th at a Adult Retreat Center near here. Can't wait for an opportunity to feed my contemplative soul.

We started a discussion/book study on The Shack last night. Ten folks signed up and seventeen showed up.

Tonight we're starting a Beth Moore Women's Bible Study. After we finished our initial women's bible study, the ladies decided they liked getting together so much that they wanted to continue.

D2 is coming home for the weekend! Yeah!!!!

Monday, March 2, 2009

Ain't No Hollenback Girl

You wanna piece of me? Bring it, Babycakes! (Imagine Kenau Reeves facing Hugo Weaving in the waning moments of The Matrix.) This shit is bananas!

I've put in over 70 ministry hours in each of the last three weeks. I'm tired, worn out and extremely irritable.

That being said, I got a phone call last night from the daughter of a perpetually whiny, chronically anxious, learnedly dependent and feignedly helpless parishoner who is having ELECTIVE surgery in TWO weeks. (Said daughter is a non-churchgoer). "Why didn't I mention that (her) mother is having surgery in two weeks at prayer time?"

Lessee ... Both of your parents were in church yesterday. Why didn't your mother (who is not afraid to speak out during a worship service) mention something about it? Or better yet, why not your father - he was sitting right there beside her? Or even better: If you are so concerned, why weren't YOU in church, lifting her up to the throne of grace?

Could it be perhaps I was blown away when another faithful daughter of God announced that she had terminal cancer and asked to be supported in prayer by her church family? Could it be that your mother - who loves to be the center of attention - thought she couldn't place a trump card on that news?

Or, how about the other 50 people who assault me before worship saying, "Would you announce ... ?" And the 20 others who say, "I know you're busy, but could you do this for me?"
And the folks who wait until the end of the service to dump on me.

Please, give me a break!

Bring it, Chickie. This shit is bananas.