Pastoral Courtesy and Integrity

Once again I seem to have found myself in a dysfunctional ministerium. There is another woman - an extremely part-time Episcopal priest - five male clergy and me. One of the male clergy is my husband. I know he's pretty high functioning.

Our ministerium has two Free Meths, one Catholic, one Lutheran, the aforementioned Epsicopal and us two United Meths. We say we want to be united for the good of our Small Town community, but I am afraid we are anything but united.

Father Catholic Priest painted himself into a corner a couple weeks ago with the Small Town Council and then sent out e-mails to Small Town Ministerium with pleas for back-up. Father Catholic Priest write arrogant, condescending Letters to the Newspaper Editor and assumes he speaks for all the Small Town clergy.

Let me tell 'ya: Hubby has learned in the thirty years we've been married that he cannot speak for me. He knows and respects the fact I have my own mind, my own intellect, my own opinion and my own big mouth.

And resent the fact that FCP thinks I'm going to die in this particular ditch with him. He agrees with stuff we talk about in ST Ministerium meetings, but goes ahead and does his own thing. He's the loudest voice calling for a united front - but on his terms and with his agenda. He used the Community Lenten Luncheon last week for a podium for his political views and using communal scare tactics, said, "I don't want to stand alone. If you're a Christian then stand with me." Golly gumpers, grandma!

The second thing that's pressing my buttons this week is the fact that the two Free Meth clergy are visiting my parishioners. I arrived at the hospital this morning for a parishoner's surgery only to find the FM Associate Pastor there with the family. He "graciously" deferred to me when I prayed with the surgery patient and family, but patted the patient's foot and said he'd be back tonight. And I had another parishoner in the ER at the same time and they went north to Small City Hospital on one of the Great Sinkholes for a cardiac problem. Assoc. FM Pastor called his Sr FM Pastor and Sr. Pastor told him to tell me that he would meet the Cardiac Patient at the Small City hospital.

To say I was flabbergasted was an understatement. I'm too well-mannered to raise a fuss in front of folks, but you can bet the Small Town Ministerium meeting tomorrow morning will be rough and wooly.

Hubby went to the Small Town Council meeting last night and returned disgusted. Of course, Father Catholic was there (his usual arrogant self) and the Free Meths because they're standing up against "politically correctness." Hubby received a report on my transported parishoner - "he had his pacemaker tweeked and he will be fine."

What happened to pastoral integrity and courtesy???????????????

That God! What a Kidder!

Chronically Anxious Lady had her elective surgery this morning. Of course, she was first on the OR list. So, being the GOOD pastor that I am, I got up extra early to get to the hospital and have prayer with her.

Guess what song was playing on the local FM radio station when I parked my van at the hospital?

Yep. Hollenback Girl.

Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor?

Better Mood

After THREE really good nights' sleep, I am in a better mood.

I'm signed up for a three day Women's Spirituality Retreat that starts on Sunday the 15th at a Adult Retreat Center near here. Can't wait for an opportunity to feed my contemplative soul.

We started a discussion/book study on The Shack last night. Ten folks signed up and seventeen showed up.

Tonight we're starting a Beth Moore Women's Bible Study. After we finished our initial women's bible study, the ladies decided they liked getting together so much that they wanted to continue.

D2 is coming home for the weekend! Yeah!!!!

Ain't No Hollenback Girl

You wanna piece of me? Bring it, Babycakes! (Imagine Kenau Reeves facing Hugo Weaving in the waning moments of The Matrix.) This shit is bananas!

I've put in over 70 ministry hours in each of the last three weeks. I'm tired, worn out and extremely irritable.

That being said, I got a phone call last night from the daughter of a perpetually whiny, chronically anxious, learnedly dependent and feignedly helpless parishoner who is having ELECTIVE surgery in TWO weeks. (Said daughter is a non-churchgoer). "Why didn't I mention that (her) mother is having surgery in two weeks at prayer time?"

Lessee ... Both of your parents were in church yesterday. Why didn't your mother (who is not afraid to speak out during a worship service) mention something about it? Or better yet, why not your father - he was sitting right there beside her? Or even better: If you are so concerned, why weren't YOU in church, lifting her up to the throne of grace?

Could it be perhaps I was blown away when another faithful daughter of God announced that she had terminal cancer and asked to be supported in prayer by her church family? Could it be that your mother - who loves to be the center of attention - thought she couldn't place a trump card on that news?

Or, how about the other 50 people who assault me before worship saying, "Would you announce ... ?" And the 20 others who say, "I know you're busy, but could you do this for me?"
And the folks who wait until the end of the service to dump on me.

Please, give me a break!

Bring it, Chickie. This shit is bananas.

A "Special Award"

I'm the most recent member of Small Town's Volunteer Fire Department & Ambulance Service.

Last night at their Appreciation Dinner, I received a "Special Award."

Remember this post?

Yah. When I received my turn-out gear, I put my leather pants on backwards and couldn't figure out what was wrong. Two of my parishioner (veteran firefighters) stood there and watched me struggle. Finally one of them said, "Uh, Pastor Net? The fly goes in the front."

My award? A teddy bear in full jump gear with signs that say "Front" and "Back."

I am loved!

How You Know You've Got Him Trained!

A post for Cheerful Friend who just got engaged!!!!!! Squee!!!!!

You know you've got your Hubby trained when ... you talk in your sleep and he answers (while he's still asleep too!)

Update

Church Matriarch joined the Church Eternal and Triumphant yesterday afternoon - a week after her stroke and five days after the withdrawal of life support. It's been a tough week for her family.

Small City Famous Hospital folks were absolutely wonderful. They treated CM and her family with dignity, respect and a lot of care. I am grateful for the compassion and support they gave as the process went and on and on.

I was particularly impressed with the palliative care physician and his CRNP. When it became apparent that CM had a significant brain injury and would not recover, the neurosurgeon called in the PC team. On Thursday, when I was visiting, PC Doc stopped in to check on her. He was gentle and soft-spoken and he won me over! We talked for over an hour about bioethics, quality of life, etc.

His approach is holistic. He was concerned about the family's spiritual needs and told me that in his years of PC, he had never encountered a pastor doing a hospital visit. And when he would call upon a family's pastor for pastoral care, he was told, "I don't do that. I leave it up to the hospital chaplains." Wow. I found that hard to believe. I told him I wasn't like that. I was hands on, purely relational and didn't mind doing visiting.

He offered me a job as the PC Team's chaplain! He's building a team to offer the best PC care at Small City's Famous Hospital. He's in charge of assembling a multi-disciplinary group of individuals to provide the best quality of life for PC patients ... medical direction, spiritual support, masseuses, music therapists, etc. I would love to be working with a team like that!

Unfortunately, I really love where I am at right now. If this offer came at this time last year, I'd be all over it. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I would miss the preaching, the Bible Studies, the Youth Group, the Confirmation Class ...

Yeah, I'm a rural small church pastor. And that's all right.